If you feel anything seemingly unique, a wiser person long ago has already written about such experiences in ways better than you could hope to convey - find solace in their works. We're gonna blow so much cash on trivialities throughout our trivial lives - drop some stacks on the works of the greats. It'll help you manage the ebbs and flows of existence better than the latest dolled up bourgeois scrapheap on wheels.
So this was the nature of the Steppenwolf - and one can imagine that Harry did not have an agreeable and happy life. But it should not be said that he was unhappy to any extraordinary degree (even though it appeared to be so to him, and it would be to any person who held such suffering to be important). One should not say that of any person. But those who have no wolf in them need not necessarily be happy. And even the most discontented life has its hours of sunshine and its little flourishes of pleasure between rock and rubble. So it was with the Steppenwolf. He was mostly very unhappy, if the truth be told, and he could make others unhappy if he loved them or they loved him, because all who won his love saw only one side of him. Some saw and loved him as a fine, clever and extraordinary person and were appalled and disappointed when they suddenly discovered the wolf in him. And they had to discover it, for like all other beings Harry wanted to be loved as a whole, and he made directly for those whose love was most convenient to him, so that he did not have to conceal or lay aside the wolf. But there were those who even loved the wolf in him, the free, the wild, the untameable, the dangerous and strong, and for these people it was extraordinarily disappointing and deplorable when suddenly the wild and angry wolf was also a man, who had a yearning for goodness and tenderness in him, who listened to Mozart, read verse, and upheld the ideals of humanity. Indeed, they were most particularly disappointed and angry, and so the strange Steppenwolf brought his own duality and conflicting nature to all whose fates he touched.